A close friend of mine and I met up for a long overdue catch up and as the weather was so lovely we decided to buy a coffee and sit on Brighton beach to enjoy some sunshine.
Once the chit chat was out of the way the conversation turned into something a little more meaningful. It was at that point where my friend said “this is what life is about – this is what makes me happy”
“What is” I replied?
Well he said… “this…the sunshine, no work as it’s the weekend, a nice coffee, listening to the sound of the waves….it all makes me feel very happy” “it’s the little things in life” he continued.
“Oh ok” I said and without thinking I asked “what if there is no sunshine, sea, nice coffee, time off etc would you still be happy?
And at that point the conversation turned really fascinating.
This is a simple example of happiness, the way and where we try to find it. This will be different for all of us.
Now, I got a couple of questions for you.
1) What makes you happy?
2) Where do you find your happiness?
3) How much are you in control of “getting” it?
4) How much are you in control of keeping it?
Many of us try to find happiness in external resources. (A relationship, another person, that latest gadget, sex, alcohol or drugs etc.)
But what would happen if those resources run out? The relationship ends, that gadget is not new any more etc.
Isn’t there a danger when they run out, we lose our happiness too? Ending up in a continuous cycle to find and regain happiness again? Constantly searching for that next fix? Doesn’t this create certain restlessness within us? Or will it be easier; as you can blame “others” for being and feeling unhappy? One other thought that springs to mind is the fact that it must be a heavy task for a partner to not only be responsible for his/her own happiness but also for someone else.
Certainly sex, alcohol and drugs could create further issues like addiction (more on this later)
Is this a healthy way of living? Are we not responsible creating our own happiness within us? Should there be a mixture between internal and external factors that creates our happiness?
Here is the thing, when answering those questions why not, just for a moment, try to focus on you and not on the outside factors and see what you come up with. Notice the little things! If you are not happy with something – change it!
This is what my friend said.
“My happiness is not linked to sun, sea, and coffee or in matter of fact to anything. It is me who is happy and content, I’m happy with myself and who I am and being like that enables me to enjoy the little things in life”
There are various tools and techniques I use that allow my clients to explore their inner strength and link in with the resources within them. Hypnotherapy for example is a great tool to strengthen those resources. It also is very effective when dealing with self-esteem problems and improving the relationship with our self. How happy and content are you?
Do you notice the little things in life?
OpenMindz is a Brighton based hypnotherapy and well-being consultancy for all your personal needs.
Call us today to discuss what we can do to support you in making those changes to your life.